Marriage problems signs isn't static. It shifts, grows, or—unfortunately—can slowly fall apart when you're not paying attention. Often, when a marriage is in trouble, the warning signs are subtle. They show up in conversations that don't happen, glances that once held connection but now pass by blank, or evenings spent in silence.

For team leaders, HR professionals, or founders juggling remote responsibilities, it's easy to miss these quiet signals while managing the demands of a virtual workforce. But recognizing signs early can mean the difference between repair and regret.

Here are 10 signs your marriage may be facing serious challenges—and what you can do about them.

1. Communication Has Turned Into Silence

One of the most common and telling signs is a lack of communication. Not just arguments or disagreements—those are natural—but the absence of meaningful conversation.

You might be talking about logistics, schedules, or bills, but not about your lives, feelings, or hopes. When the connection fades, silence takes its place.

Real-life example:

A project manager in Seattle shared that after two years of remote work, she realized her and her spouse only discussed who would pick up groceries or when to walk the dog. It took conscious effort—and weekly check-ins—to start talking deeply again.

2. You Feel Lonely, Even When You're Together

Loneliness isn't always about being alone. Sometimes, the loneliest moments happen when your partner is sitting right next to you.

If you're emotionally disconnected, your physical presence won't be enough to feel supported.

3. Criticism Replaces Encouragement

In a healthy marriage, you build each other up. When that support fades and criticism creeps in—especially if it's constant or harsh—it's a red flag.

Criticism is different from feedback. Feedback focuses on behavior. Criticism often feels like a personal attack.

4. Affection and Intimacy Have Faded

Physical affection isn't just about sex. Holding hands, hugging, or even making eye contact builds emotional trust.

When physical touch becomes rare, or if it feels forced or unwanted, it's a sign that deeper emotional issues may be at play.

5. You're Keeping Secrets

Not every detail of your day has to be shared—but if you're deliberately hiding things from your spouse, it's a sign that trust is eroding.

This can include financial decisions, interactions with others, or even small details that feel "easier" to withhold than to explain.

6. Resentment Is Building Up

Unspoken frustration doesn't just go away. It builds up, turns into resentment, and eventually comes out in passive-aggressive behavior or angry outbursts.

If small things cause big reactions, unresolved resentment may be boiling under the surface.

Try this:

Start with journaling your frustrations to identify patterns. What keeps triggering you? Then bring it into a calm conversation.

7. You Avoid Each Other

If you find yourself staying longer at work, choosing solo activities, or avoiding shared spaces at home, it's worth asking why.

Sometimes, avoidance is a subconscious response to unresolved conflict or emotional discomfort.

8. You're Fantasizing About Life Without Them

It's normal to daydream, but if you often imagine a better or more peaceful life without your partner, it's a sign you're emotionally disconnecting.

Instead of sitting with this alone, it might be time to talk to a counselor—either individually or together.

9. There's a Lack of Shared Goals or Vision

Early in marriage, couples often dream together—about careers, travel, children, or building something meaningful. Over time, those visions can drift apart.

If you no longer talk about the future together—or worse, have completely different visions—it could indicate emotional separation.

Table: Healthy vs. Troubled Vision Alignment

Aspect Healthy Marriage Troubled Marriage
Career decisions Discussed and supported jointly Made independently
Family planning Mutually considered Avoided or debated
Retirement dreams Shared and exciting Conflicting or ignored
 

10. You Don't Fight—At All

It might seem odd, but the absence of conflict isn't always a good thing. If you're not even arguing, it might be because both partners have emotionally checked out.

Disagreements, when handled respectfully, can actually strengthen a relationship. They show that both people care enough to express their needs.

Understanding the Bigger Picture

These marriage problems signs don't mean your relationship is doomed. They are signals—alerts telling you that something needs attention.

Jason Redman, a former Navy SEAL Team 6 operator and leadership speaker, often speaks about resilience—not just in combat, but in everyday life and relationships. His story of recovery after severe combat wounds emphasizes the power of mental toughness, ownership, and rebuilding after pain.

His platform, Jason Redman's  doesn't just serve those in uniform—it's deeply relatable for anyone facing adversity. When applied to marriage, his message of “getting off the X” (a term for getting unstuck from a crisis point) resonates. If you feel stuck in your relationship, don't wait for conditions to change—make the shift yourself.

What You Can Do Next

If you've recognized one or more of these signs in your marriage, here's what you can do:

  • Seek help early. Therapy isn't just for crisis—it's for maintenance and connection.

  • Start small. Ask a meaningful question each day. Listen more than you speak.

  • Make time. No relationship thrives on leftovers. Prioritize connection.

Even remote leaders who thrive in high-performance environments need to remember that relationships, like teams, need ongoing investment. Ignoring the signs only delays the conversation.

Final Thought

Marriage takes work—and awareness. By noticing the signs, even the quiet ones, you give your relationship a chance to grow stronger, more honest, and more aligned with the life you truly want.

If you're interested in applying resilience principles in personal or professional relationships, explore Jason Redman to learn how to lead with clarity and courage.